iLost My Mind Redux
by JimberlyShipper
Summary: This is the way iLost My Mind SHOULD have gone. Sam is concerned that she kissed Freddie, because it's really Carly that she's in love with.


_**Disclaimer: The characters of **__iCarly__** do not belong to me. This is the ending to **__iLost My Mind__** that *I* would have preferred. LONG LIVE CAM! Down with Seddie. I can't believe they went that route! It makes me so angry. And sick at the same time. Seddie is just abusive and WRONG. No offense to any Seddie fans, although really, if you are, why are you reading a Cam fic? **_

iLost My Mind Redux

By Julia

I was at a mental institution. I had checked myself in because I had kissed Fredwad. I don't know how I had thought that THAT was a good idea. I hated Freddie Benson, and I could think of no reason that I kissed him other than I was crazy. I hadn't told anyone where I was going, not even the REAL love of my life, my best friend Carly Shay. I know, I know what you're thinking. There's no way a girl like me could get a girl like her. I know you've seen iCarly. You must know that she's the most beautiful girl in the world. I have loved her since I first saw her in grade school. We've been best friends ever since. I have just fallen deeper in love with her since. It wasn't so bad here. I was without Carly, but the enchiladas were great here. I had checked myself in without even telling my mom. I was working on a painting when they told me that I had visitors. Then Carly burst into my room. I looked up in surprise. "Carls, what are you doing here?" I asked.

Carly had long beautiful black hair, and it was down as usual. She looked really hot. She said, "What are you doing here? Why did you check yourself in? You're not crazy, Sam." She closed the door to my room. "Freddie and Spencer and Gibby came too." She added.

I looked at her. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure she'd believe the truth, but I'd always tried to not lie to her. "Well, I have to be crazy. I kissed Freddie. I don't like Freddie." I didn't, and I knew that's what she was going to insist, that's what she'd tried to do when Freddie thought I was in love. I had been, just not with him. It had been Carly.

Carly shook her head. "Sam, so what if you like Freddie? That doesn't mean you're crazy." She tried to grab my hand. "Come on, let's go home." She didn't succeed. I tried to fight her. She ended up with her arms pinned to her side, with me wrapped around her and my hand over her mouth.

"Licking my hand won't make me let go." I admonished her. She sighed and I removed my hand from her mouth. "Carls, I don't like Freddie. I don't know why I kissed him. I really and truly do not have ANY feelings for Freddie. I know you don't believe me, but it's true. I'm in love with someone else." I almost hoped that she'd ask who, because it was about time that I told her that it was her I loved.

Before she could say anything, Freddie burst into the room. He closed the door. "Gibby made the distraction. He's, somewhere." Freddie said, breathing hard. "Sam, why did you check yourself in here?" He asked, standing next to Carly.

I gave him a look. "Because, Fredweiner, I don't like you. At all. I'm in love with someone else. I must be crazy for kissing you. I have no idea why I thought that was a good idea." I knew they weren't going to believe me. Maybe I would get lucky and they would.

Carly turned to me. "Who are you _really _in love with, Sam, and why haven't you said anything to me about it? I am your best friend. Why would you not tell me?" She demanded to know. I didn't blame her.

I said, "I don't want to tell you with Fredwad here." I didn't want Freddie to know if things didn't turn out the way I wanted. "I don't want him to know." I added. She asked Freddie to leave. He mumbled something about trying to find Gibby. After he left, Carly turned to me. I looked at her. "Are you sure that you want to know?" I asked.

She met my gaze, not shying away at all. She nodded. "Yes. I want to know. Tell me." She gave me a pleading look.

I sighed and sat down on my bed. I ran my hand nervously through my long blonde hair. "Well, I've loved this person for many years. We've been best friends since grade school." Before I continued, I took a deep breath. "She is beautiful, smart, funny, nice, kind to nerds, a great dresser, she always smells nice, and she's the best cohost a girl could ask for." I finally looked up at her, and registered her look of shock. "It's you, Carls. I love you."

Carly just stood there, blinking at me for a second. I just sat nervously, scuffing my feet on the floor. She looked as if she wasn't sure what to say. She said, "Well, I was not expecting you to say that." She ran her hand nervously through her long hair.

I stood up and turned to face her. I took one of her hands in mine. "Carls, what do you think? Do you love me, too?" I asked. She didn't shy away from me, or take her hand out of mine. That was a good sign.

Carly looked down at my hand entangled with hers. She then looked up at me again. She had some tears shining in her eyes. She said, "Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that?" She touched my face with her free hand. "I have loved you just about as long as you loved me." She said, and as she was about to press her lips to mine, we heard noises in the hall.

I cursed under my breath, and we went to go check it out. Gibby was causing some sort of commotion with Carly's brother Spencer. And one of the other patients. Carly was yelling at them to stop when Freddie showed back up. I could hardly believe all of this nonsense. "Oy! What the hell is going on?" I called above the noise. Carly's hand was still in mine, and I couldn't help smiling.

Spencer, Gibby, and the other patient all stopped what they were doing to look at me. Spencer noticed mine and Carly's hands. He started for a second. I knew he was surprised. Spencer hadn't seemed that in the know about Carly and me. I met his gaze unflinchingly. Spencer said, "Never mind what we're doing, what are you guys' doing?" He had an unreadable expression on his face. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, and it was making me nervous.

Carly said, "Sam and I are together now. Do you have a problem with that?" She asked, meeting her brother's gaze headon. It was totally hot. I felt a stirring in my belly. She was always hot when she asserted herself like that.

Spencer sputtered for a second, and I was not able to keep the grin off my face. He looked shocked. "You're together now?" He repeated, ignoring Gibby, who was pulling on Spencer's shirt for some reason.

I met Carly's gaze before I looked back at him. "Yes, Spencer. It's going to be fine. Just relax, I know it's a bit of a shock." I wondered why he was dressed like my mother. "Why are you dressed like my mother?" I asked.

Freddie was the one to answer me. "We've already been here once today. They told us that you couldn't check yourself out without your parent, so Spencer dressed up like your mom. We were just trying to help you." He said.

I put my free hand on my hip. "I don't think that's going to work. No offense, Spencer, but nobody is going to think you are my mother." I was glad they'd tried to help, but I wasn't naive. I was going to be here until my mother could be contacted. She was somewhere getting surgery or something else she didn't need. I wasn't really sure, but it didn't matter, she wasn't here when needed.

Gibby said, "You have to get out, Sam, you can't just stay here. You don't belong here." He was still trying to get Spencer's attention. Gibby was SO weird. I would never get him as long as I lived.

I shrugged. "I'm sorry that I disappointed you, Gib." I said. Carly squeezed my hand. "But I came here because something was wrong with me. Kissing Freddie is not something that I _ever _would have done. I need to be here." I wished I was wrong, but I knew I wasn't. Thinking about what I did made me want to puke.

Carly let go of my hand to step in front of me. "You don't need to be here, you are not crazy. You are beautiful, and I love you. You just had a momentary lack of judgement. It happens. You should let us take you home. I just want to be with you, and I can't if you're here."

I looked into her beautiful eyes. She did have a point. I did want to go home, and there was some things I wanted to do with Carly. Naughty things. I just wasn't sure if Spencer was going to be able to get me out of here. He just wasn't convincing enough as a woman. "Well, I guess you're right, Carls. Go ahead if you want to try." I said.

We all went out into the room where all of the patients met with their visitors. Spencer went up to the nurses' counter, while Carly and I waited with suspense. He talked with her for a moment, and she handed him some papers. I held my breath for a moment. Was this actually going to work? Spencer sat down at one of the tables, and I hastened to join him. He might need to know certain things.

After Spencer filled out the paperwork with my help, he turned it in. To my shock, it seemed to work. They told Spencer to have me go and get my things. He didn't have to tell me, I said something along the lines of ok, mom, and took off for my room, Carly following. She helped me throw the few things I'd brought with me into my duffel bag. I could hardly believe that what Spencer had done had worked. We hurried back out of the room after I grabbed the rest of my enchiladas and put them in my bag, too.

On the way home, Carly and I sat in the back of Socko's van, and she was all tangled up in my arms. Freddie was up front with Spencer, and Gibby was in the middle. I was listening to Spencer ramble on about getting us home in time for shooting iCarly. Freddie kept glancing back at Carly and I. I gave him a glare and he stopped. I kissed the top of Carly's head. I loved her so much. I was glad she'd come to bring me home. I wouldn't have to worry about kissing Fredwad Benson, I had Carly Shay to kiss.

_**Author's note: That's much better. Hope ya'll liked! I do NOT like the way the show is going. Seddie is probably my most hated ship. Here's to hoping we get LOTS of Cam moments. Leave a review if you like!**_


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